Meltdown: A Mostly-True Story

NOTE: In a slight departure from my usual ruminations, I am posting a letter I wrote to Mars Snackfood about an aspect of their marketing that I find troubling. The letter originated to help a friend by creating an example of what her class was working on (testing advertising claims and then writing to the company about the results) but is based on real life. Believe me.





Mars Snackfood US
Attn: Consumer Care
800 High Street
Hackettstown, NJ 07840

Dear Customer Care:

I am a person who believes that chocolate should be added as one of the major food groups, and my favorite type of chocolate is found in the form of M&M’s. I love how many ways there are to eat them, from savoring them one by one during a movie, to throwing a massive handful into my mouth when I’m trying to escape having to share them with my brother. However, I am writing to ask you to address a significant concern that I have. One of your famous slogans is that M&M’s “melt in your mouth, not in your hand.” I have run several tests and have found that this claim is not true.

I began my scientific consideration of M&M’s claims in the summer of 1985 and continued every year on a quarterly basis until 2008. Since my testing has covered nearly a quarter of a century and my findings are consistent, I believe that it is time to ask you to address these discrepancies for me, and for other consumers who may be similarly led astray. My data for a sampling of years is as follows:

1985 1988 1991 1995 1998 2000 2003 2006 2008
Spring Melted Melted Melted Melted Melted Melted Melted Melted Melted
Summer Melted Melted Melted Melted Melted Melted Melted Melted Melted
Fall Melted Melted Melted Melted Melted Melted Melted Melted Melted
Winter No Melt No Melt No Melt No Melt No Melt No Melt No Melt No Melt No Melt

Beginning when I was eight years old, in the middle of a Colorado summer, I took my precious M&M’s, stood in my driveway and clenched eight of them in my right fist, holding them for five minutes. (I timed it on the digital Snoopy watch I’d gotten for my birthday). Sweat dripped down my brow as I waited to see if what M&M’s claimed was really true. When five minutes was up, I opened my hand to find a sticky mess of smeared colors, chocolate, and broken candy shells. They had always melted in my mouth this way, but, according to your claim, were supposed to retain their integrity in my hand. In an attempt to save my precious chocolate I licked my hand, getting a gooey mess in my hair, on my face, and on my favorite shorts. (Try as she might, my mom was never able to get the stain out!). Thus, my mission began. I continued to conduct testing, but decided that once a season would be enough. I also took precautions that kept me from ruining my favorite clothes and making my mom mad. And as I continued my testing, in three of the four seasons, I found that M&M’s melted in my hand as well as my mouth. I think that it is important to consider that in Colorado, the winter temperatures are often below freezing, and that I have risked frostbite to hold M&M’s in my bare hand, finding that it is only in these extreme weather conditions that I have found your slogan to ring true.

It is as a result of this extensive testing that I want to ask you to consider withdrawing this advertising claim and replacing it to reflect something that is more like the experience of your chocolate-loving consumers. I understand that the spirit of your claim is to communicate that your candy is so delicious that someone eating them doesn’t leave them in their hand long enough to melt. However, what you say is misleading, as my extensive testing proves. In light of this, I want to suggest that you change your slogan to “They’re yummy, and melt anywhere you put them except in the winter.” I think that the truth of this statement will bring integrity to your brand in a way that the catchy “melts in your mouth, not in your hand” will never do.

We are living in an age where many corporations think that they are immune from having to tell the truth. I want to encourage you to keep from beginning to slide down the slippery slope that has left companies like Enron and Qwest in moral shambles. If you don’t give attention to this matter, I—and many others like me—may switch over to a brand like Rainbow Dots, which makes no such misleading claims. However, I want to give you a chance to address my concerns before taking such drastic measures. I am grateful to you for your attention to my concerns, and sincerely hope that they have been both constructive and useful.

I look forward to hearing from you in regards to this important matter.

PS--I sent this letter two days ago. Any bets on what might happen?

PPS--Turns out I'm not the only one troubled by this M&M's advertising claim.